The Uses of Time

10 Mar, 2026

I have been thinking that there is not a lot of discussion around the culture about people in my situation in life. I am 70 years old and have been retired for about 8 years. I have a number of chronic health conditions, mostly the result of radiation for throat cancer 20 years ago, but I am managing them more or less OK. I am pretty active. I strength train at least two days a week and I try to follow the recommended guidelines for aerobic exercise to protect cognitive health, at least 150 minutes a week of moderate exercise, which turns out to be brisk walking. But I am also a learner. Firstly, Old-Time clawhammer banjo. I have owned a banjo for nearly 20 years but only in the last couple of years have I gotten playfully serious about learning. As such, I am faced with decisions every day, what to practice, how long, how much to focus on theory, how much to focus on physical techniques, tempo, endurance, etc. Then, Poetry. I have written and lovingly read poetry for as long as I can remember. I had a brainstorm recently looking at a box of old journals, feeling bad about myself because so many of them are half-filled (or even less!). I had the idea, as a kind of rite of expiation, to leaf randomly through them, highlighting phrases that struck me as alive , and creating a cut-up poem. The results really compelled me, although as yet I have no idea whether they will be compelling to anyone else. I do know that I want to keep doing it. So, how do I fit that in? Also, reading, and other types of writing, such as this piece. My wife is still working, so I have the responsibility for most of the domestic work. I am an accomplished (I don’t mind saying it) home cook, and cooking is one of my main hobbies. I try to maintain a pretty large vegetable garden, and I have a number of other musical instruments that I play to one degree or another and want to improve on. Ok, so, sure, I have a lot going on, a lot to balance. So do you. But it is weird to be in a stage of life where you have almost total control over how you spend your time, after nearly fifty years of going to jobs. Even after 8 years I can’t say I am terribly good at apportioning my time. Or it might just as well be true that my expectations around this are wildly unrealistic. I don’t really know, but I feel like figuring that out is a life and death matter. What can i reasonably accomplish? And how should I respond to the approaching horizon, the fact that one thing I do know for certain that my remaining time is quite limited, given the scope of the projects I have on board, learning to play several instruments, compiling a body of poems and getting them out into the world, etc. Again, I have more questions than answers. I can say that over the past few years I have become very interested in questions about how to “manage” time. I have taken up Bullet Journaling and have continually wrestled with how to adapt that admirably flexible system to my needs, I use apps to keep track of my aerobic output, an app to keep track music practice time logged, and I am writing this during an online, “Shut Up and Write” session, which I try to attend every use day from 9;15-10;45. Does all this bring a sense of peace? To a degree, yes. But each one of these things also carries with it the potential to be yet one more thing to feel bad about not doing often enough, diligently enough, attentively enough, long enough. I have started collecting books and articles about this subject, the use of time, with an eye to doing a writing project dissecting and analyzing the different approaches, and what I can already see is that there is a wide spectrum of attitudes and approaches, but I feel like I can roughly make out the two poles or extremes most fall between; at one end there are those that urge you to impose a strict order on your time, decide in advance how you want to spend it, block it out, and don’t allow yourself to deviate, at the other pole are those who recommend managing your time by not managing your time, relying on intuition and doing what you “feel” like doing at any given time, as a way to get in touch with your own inner guide. In my mind I have come to think of this spectrum as “structure vs. flow.” I guess this reflects some basic philosophical questions about human nature; can we trust ourselves or do we have to use our rational minds to ruthlessly keep the irrational hounds at bay, lest they tempt us into non-productivity? Are we inherently good, or bad? I guess in my characterization of the two outlooks I have kind of given away what my own thinking is. But here’s the rub. I am inclined that way, at least in part, by my own particular neurosis, an aversion stemming from childhood, to the idea of “discipline” in general, and experience has shown me that not trying at all to corral the unruly beast of my time and attention does not necessarily lead to happiness. So, it is a dance, one I am learning as I do it. And what is unusual, I think, about my dance is that I am doing it at such a late age. So, my intention is to keep showing up here with updates, in the hope that others may benefit from them and enter into a conversation which may enrich us all. At the moment my experiment is to make a public pact that I will show up for this “Shut Up and Wriote” session on Tuesdays as close to weekly as I can, write some on this subject and post it without any but the lightest editing. That’s not because I don’t want to give my best but only because I have found that if I try to polish these pieces until they are “ready” they just keep getting longer and more unwieldy. Cheers for now. Michael